Instagram 007

Well, look who just installed an Instagram spy app. And after seeing what it uncovered completely freaked out. 

Hello, it’s no surprise that I’m obsessed with instagram. 

Easy and streamlined to use; photography based; living another person's life through their eyes; inspiration; motivation; and procrastination station. 

And also, a place I get to pretend to live my dream of a blogger 'influencer'.

Let’s chat about actually actively posting stuff. 

Lately, after our trip to Korea and taking a billion aesthetic photos there, I started to post almost once a day: either an actual post or story. 

The story views always surprise me, like someone actually tapped through my cringe-fest pics of stuff I liked? Post likes I don’t care too much about (plus likes are off insta now so, people just either won’t tap or just do it automatically, as we’ve been trained for that beforehand hahaha). 

Although I know I have close friends and family that actually know and kind of care about what I post on Instagram and what goes on the daily with me, I installed this app, because, over the past few weeks, I’ve lost 3 followers. 

I mean, I have no clue who these people are, and it’s literally only 3. Plus it means they weren’t real fans of what I post or don’t really know or care about my life, so good riddance I guess? No need for negative energy in my space. 

But...

It’s hard to shake that feeling of someone unsubscribing to my life. 

Yeah, I can't handle rejection. 

The second most startling thing is: seeing the fact that I’ve been following many people with the complete belief that they follow me back. 

And realising that this belief is totally false. For example, if you believed wholeheartedly that the earth is flat, then you move to mars or something and you see it’s actually round. Whaaaaat???

When I scroll through this list of non-follower-back-ers, I see it's double the length of my actual followers. 

And then I start reflecting, why the heck did I put up with all those annoying splendour posts, basic brunch girls and random beach photos of people that I’m not friends with, and that sure as heck probably forgot who I was like three years ago?

This whole time I was pretending and living an actual lie, thinking that these people see my photos, care just a little about what I do but nah. 

On the one hand, I feel so uncomfortable and stalkerish installing an app to monitor who unfollows me and who doesn’t follow me back. But on the other hand, it’s eye-opening. 

As soon as I start posting as often as I want, with my favourite over-saturated, influencer wannabe photos, the follower count slowly ticks down. 

So yeah, of course, that makes me kinda sad. Our worth, on instagram at least, is usually judged by our follower count, amount of likes and our number of posts. 

But big surprise, people can do what they want. You can't control them.

They can scroll past, they can watch all of my 50 story posts or they can unfollow. There’s really nothing you can, or really should do, since that’s how social media works. The individual chooses how they want to consume the media that’s been published.  

At least I can see that no one has blocked me. 

Phew, at least some good news!

So, let the purge on both sides of the screen begin I guess. And see you on the other side, maybe?

Well, if my follower count does plummet embarrassingly from this day on, I can at least count on my mum’s trusty insta support :)